So it's been about 50 years since i've been on this thing it seems like! If just been caught up with all shit. I've been really stresse, frustrated and u might say depressed. Last weekend was fun i had a BLAST! Basically going to the football game, Going to the mall with tasha, gus and chris, then to gus's ("suprise") party. But i've also had a lot on my mind lately. Mainly school but also just my common, what i call "Jerry Springer" drama. School in the way of doing well, getting into college etc... We all know i like to go big or go home, and i do NOT want to be a failure at life (one of my bigest fears). I just feel like i've been putting a lot of pressure on myself lately or like i feel at times that i'm not putting enough. Yes i realize that this is my SENIOR year and i should be cuttin back a little and college's really look at your Junior year of high school. I'm just that kind of girl that likes to over due it sometimes. Then as far as colleges i'm kind of split between 2 as of now...Dominican University or Columbia College. They are both located in Chicago it's just i'm really REALLY intrested in the both of them. So for example: If i were to get excepted to both i would i have NO IDEA as to which one i should go to.
Now for the whole "Jerry Springer" drama is just buggin me A LOT lately. Meaning that lately i've been missing my cussin reffusly and i still have that voice if not many (friends and shit) saying that "...but she went out with your ex blah blah blah". At times i just really dont care. Then at times i look at it like this: I miss the old days of us talking on the phone for like 5hrs, comin to my house every other weekend etc...I miss my old cousin who i thought was my best friend, sister w/e not who she is today. I pray to go almost everyday that soon she will come around and everything will go back to what it was. Ever since i've read "her side of the story" on her blog i've wanted to talk to her about it. But considering i think she thinks that me and Gus are out to get her she most likely will NOT answer her phone. Sometimes i get really upset at the fact that she always tries to make things right with her used to be friends before even really putting me into consideration. I just wish one day she'll realize how i really felt during everything and we'll just burst out crying saying we love each other. She thinks that this is over a boy when really it's not. In some ways yes, because HE"S the one who did this and brain washed her ass but it's way past him. Honostly, me and HER diserve better! SHIT! at least some1 with some goals in life! DAMN! All in all i wish it would resolve really soon because the holidays are coming up and thats something we would share togethere ALWAYS and i just dont want to be depressed. So i dont know one day i might write her or i just might wait on her, something else i have to think about.
So this weekend is going to be good. So far tonight i went to the movie night at school. Fell asleep and then went off on this one girl. I thought it was funny. HAHA! 2MORROW! is going to be great! It's a party i got invited to it's like some Super Sweet 16 shit! Not even lieing!! So i'll be back on here to tell wats up on that and of course i'm gonna be bringing a camera. Well i'm REALLY tired and i was going to do some prep beutifying tonight but i'll just do it 2morrow morning...BUH BI!
Now for the whole "Jerry Springer" drama is just buggin me A LOT lately. Meaning that lately i've been missing my cussin reffusly and i still have that voice if not many (friends and shit) saying that "...but she went out with your ex blah blah blah". At times i just really dont care. Then at times i look at it like this: I miss the old days of us talking on the phone for like 5hrs, comin to my house every other weekend etc...I miss my old cousin who i thought was my best friend, sister w/e not who she is today. I pray to go almost everyday that soon she will come around and everything will go back to what it was. Ever since i've read "her side of the story" on her blog i've wanted to talk to her about it. But considering i think she thinks that me and Gus are out to get her she most likely will NOT answer her phone. Sometimes i get really upset at the fact that she always tries to make things right with her used to be friends before even really putting me into consideration. I just wish one day she'll realize how i really felt during everything and we'll just burst out crying saying we love each other. She thinks that this is over a boy when really it's not. In some ways yes, because HE"S the one who did this and brain washed her ass but it's way past him. Honostly, me and HER diserve better! SHIT! at least some1 with some goals in life! DAMN! All in all i wish it would resolve really soon because the holidays are coming up and thats something we would share togethere ALWAYS and i just dont want to be depressed. So i dont know one day i might write her or i just might wait on her, something else i have to think about.
So this weekend is going to be good. So far tonight i went to the movie night at school. Fell asleep and then went off on this one girl. I thought it was funny. HAHA! 2MORROW! is going to be great! It's a party i got invited to it's like some Super Sweet 16 shit! Not even lieing!! So i'll be back on here to tell wats up on that and of course i'm gonna be bringing a camera. Well i'm REALLY tired and i was going to do some prep beutifying tonight but i'll just do it 2morrow morning...BUH BI!
1 comment:
Maybe you should just bite the bullet and call her. Sometimes the other person is to scared to make the first move. You are right no guy is worth losing a cousin/best friend over. Call her, tell her you are hurt and them move on from there. You may never forget but you can forgive.
Post a Comment