First Week Of School...SENIOR YEAR!

Well, i think it's been a while since i've written in here. A good 2 weeks or so. Since then i have started school and it's been nothing but HELL! Now you think the first week of school, no problem, its fun no homework right? NO!

First Day
First day of school i was excited a bit on the tired side but excited! My first class is Physics, BORING! There isnt much people i talk to on a daily bases in there. And we get a worksheed on Scientific Notation of which i forgot how to do, UGH! So i was SOO ready to go to my next class which is Spanish 5. Yes ya girl doin it real big! LOL I come in that classroom and it's PACKED! I could tell it was going to be a fun class and so far no complaints. Again another assignment, but nothing too hard. Afterwards, it's AP Art History, yes it is a College Course class. Again it's PACKED! And find out its over enrolled and my teacher is PISSED! But she's funny and once again ANOTHER assignment, long as hell! And since the class is offerd to periods and both are over enrolled; of course mine is the 2nd one and books are running short. I dont get the main textbook that, once again, i need for my HOMEWORK assingment. So on a good note i have Learning Center after that (which is a place just to do hw) were i did my Art History hw (that i wasn't able to finish). So the first day i was VERY overwhelmed.

Second Day
My school goes by a block schedule. Meaning that i have different classes every other day. So first hour i have Trigonometry! O JOY! Math bright and early in the morning! The people in that class i LOVE and the teacher seems pretty cool so far. Once again we have HW! only 15 problems but STILL! Then AC Lab another place that u have the chance to do HW, chill, go to teachers for help etc...After that i have AP Studio Art, yes another AP class. But the AP test in May for this class is just basically A LOT of different art work pieces that i have done. Now since i've taken A LOT of them he recomended that i take the test in May. In addition to that and to help for that test i have to finish 12 art work pieces just for the class. GEEZ!! After that i have African American Studies 1 and i'm gonna love 2. So pretty much Blue day classes (the day b4 are white days) are so fun!

The rest of the week
So pretty much the rest of the week is nothin but hw and sleeping. I've never gotten soo much hw the first week of school in my life. I mean thank got my Physics teacher was absent on Friday. LOL isn't that sad?! And for the weekend i have SOOO much AP Art History HW it's not even funni and i have to finish my idea sheet for AP Studio Art and i'm done with hw. Thank GOD! i have Learning Center cause thats where i finish most of my assignments, if the ADD dosn't get to me,lol. O did i mention like the 3rd or 4th day of school i get sick?! So ya i'm fighting it right now, it's just a cold. Nasty ass kids! I think friday i only got 3 hrs of sleep cause i was soooo conjested, but i took a nap in Physics so it's all good,lol.

This week
So my plans for this week isn't much. Of course go to school, i need to go registar to vote and get my full license. I also need to find in there time to go apply to some jobs at the Galleria cause ya girl need a JOB! So the 1st week of school was stressful but i'm still excited for this year....especially Homecoming which is Oct. 14th, and can u believe im wearing...nvm just have to wait. I think people will be SHOCKED! LOL! So till something interesting...

Sammy D

DA WEEKEND!

Okay so this weekend actually turned out better than i had thought.

Friday
I had to babysitt so i can get some MONEY! After that i took a nap and did about NOTHING for the rest of the day. Because i knew i had to wake up BRIGHT and EARLY the next morning to babysitt again. But that night i did work on my drawing, not comin out how i wanted it 2...but i never really was good at portraits when their not me. It's of my grandmother when she was about in her 30's or 40's i guess. May not look EXACTLY like her but when i draw i sort of put my own twist you could say. Not so much like Picasso, but it's just me. After this, im drawing Gus (lil bro) a Van Gogh. THIS is more me....i do fantastic when it comes to anything BUT pencil,lol. But i really do love all mediums. I used to be obsessed with Charcol, but since i've done that last Van Gogh drawing i did with Oil Pastels, their one of my fav.'s now. With my grandmothers pic is more of an experiment type thing. For my birthday i got all this art supplies of some i've never used b4...So once im done with experiment piece im on to another oil pastel project. BUT i have to get back in to sketching designs and stuff like that, gotta build my profile stricktly on that part. Dont get me wrong i got plenty other stuff, just not much of designs ne more.

Saturday
Most of the day was spend BABYSITTING!!! Ya i was there from 6:40 AM till bout 2:30 PM, CRAZYNESS!! So after that i came home at some lunch and took a shower. I gave tasha a call and chilled for a while. Gustavo called me and i talked to him for about 5 min. or so. Tasha called me back and we decided to go shopping. I bought a new wallet, a belt(that needs to be returned), and a game that i can't play till i get the original one. BUT all in all me and tasha shopping we have nothing BUT a great time. So we went from the Galleria and she saw her cutie at Journey's that supposed to be takeing her out one day, then to wal-mart, then off to the Millz; where i saw my cutie at Journey's as well. I really wanted a chance to talk to him, but it was A LOT of people in there. Odd too, i came in like 15 min. b4 closing so i was upset but HE"S SOOO CUTE! Haha and he's not hispanic...well not that i kno of he looks mixed so who knows!! After all that Me and Tasha decided to have some ice cream, well I decided,lol. And we go to QT on Page and THEN to vaccum out my car at this car wash place. OMG! TOO FUN! While i'm vaccuming i think the vaccum had a thing for me cause it kept suckin up my skirt and shirt...so while that is going on i'm screaming and laughin. And while we are about to leave (didn't cause i almost left the damn mate there,lol) this nice concerned hispanic man, who by the way had NO style, asked if we were okay. I mean if i was over hearing us i'd probably ask if we were okay as well.

Sunday
I have done....NOTHING! today, and i LOVE IT! I havn't even taken a shower yet,lol. But eventually i will. Matter fact i'm gonna go do that. Most likely i'll probably watch a movie wit mi mami and then tonight might do some sketches!! Gotta get ready for college right? Well just in case if i go back to Chicago to Dominican University they might set me up with the fashion professors and look at my stuff. Give some feedback and such...So just in case. Wich reminds me i need to give that recruiter for stl an e-mail cause i need to kno if they are going to charge me for stayin on campus.

So 2morrow i pick up my schedule. There's NO WAY i'm waiting till wednesday. I'm SOO excited for school to start. But as far as the rest of the week idk. I KNO i'll probably be at my lil bro's house a lot to keep him company cause he's getting surgery tuesday. I have to give Diego a bath b4 school starts as well. So the rest of the week i really dont have ne thing planned....knowing me, family and friends something will pop up.

Sammy D

6 FLAGS BABY!!!!

Okay so as you kno, yesterday (wednesday), was spent at 6 Flags! If your wondering why i was so excited is because the last time i was there was 8th grade. So bout 4 yrs ago. So it turned out Tasha couldn't come threw because she totally for got that she had 2 doctor appt. So i was really bumed that she couldn't join us and i really wanted to take her to the water park. But it turned out it was me, erica and random. We had some really good times still...I got to ride the new addition to the theme park, the Superman. Man it's really good! But i still get freaked out by it,lol. Your going like 250 feet in the air and you get dropped. What freaks me out is that you're allll the way at the top and your lookin around and enjoying the view, next thing you kno it, YOUR FALLING! Cause your like waiting and waiting and it's this suprise. So after we did the actual park we ate lunch in my car and then headed towards the Hurrican Harbor (the waterpark). Thats when i REALLY got my excercise. When you go on those waterslides and no1 is there your climbing ALLL those stairs all at one time. It's pretty exhausting, and thats when you wish you would have to wait,lol. We went on this toilet bowl lookin thing, i LOVED it even though i was probably the loudest person screaming i still loved it. Well, it turned out that we had to leave early cause it started to thunder and next thing i see lightening so i'm like TIME TO GO! We leave and chill out at the MCdonalds for a lil while, next thing it just bust loose! Then we leave, get caught in trafic and we're home. I had such a BLAST! Im deffinately going again b4 i go to college.
So anyway today i woke up a tad early cause my allergies (it's really been a pain cause it's the ONLY reason why i get up.) I knew i had to wake up sooner or later because i had to take a trip to the school to pay for my parking pass. I can't wait till next week when i get to pick up my schedule!!!! I'm so ready for school to start it's not even funny. I'm ready to see all my friends etc...They probably expecting me to come in that school the first day cryin but i hope i dont,lol. So after i did that lil runnin i was pretty much tired for the rest of the day. I wanted to go to the library to register to vote possibly check out a book, BUT i ended up falling asleep. My allergies really are a pain! So can you believe it? I have no bad news section!!! 2morrow i have to babysitt and wake up at 8 or so i get home at 1. I need to talk to gus to find out witch day are we goin to the hispanic festival downtown; friday or saturday. Cause we go saturday it wont be untill late cause i gota babysitt AGAIN for even longer till 3....o yes ya girl is gonna be gettin some cash, FINALLY! So most likely my weekend will be booked, if we go friday not saturday maybe i could do somethin with tasha...need to, i miss my buddy!

Sammy D!

Psychiatric help

Okay i'm really starting to think that this whoolllee situation is putting me in a place i dont like. Im really starting to think i need psychiatric help. Last night was my 2nd dream of my ex attempting to kill me. The first time wasnt such a big deal, i woke up in a cold sweat and thats it. This time i felt as if it was a nightmare...but it seems like somethin i shouldn't be afraid of. I know i was talkin in my sleep cause i was screaming a lot in the dream. Wake up again in a cold sweat and this time i got tears and eventually (not too much later) i'm crying. Now honostly i dont think he'd do something like that, and i'm not afraid of him (at least, thats what i think). To me the dreams mean how hurt, neglected i am from my cousin. Because in both of them she's just there not saying a word to him about him trying to kill me. Like she's just there for the ride, like it's some kind of entertaining thing. Honostly i dont kno what to make out of em. But that dream pretty much ruind my whole day...and i feel/kno that it's not going to be my last. And i just want to kno how to handle them the right way. Cause i havn't had nightmares like that since i was bout 7...and they were some pretty nasty ones.

Okay again....for some good news. Me and my friends for life are goin to 6 flags FINALLY 2morrow! It should be fun as long as it dosn't rain...but knowing us we'll make the fun out of it! I'm sure of it. So thats it! i'm sure once 2morrow is over i'll have a bigger good news section,lol.

the weekend...

For my weekend, i thought was rather interesting. BUT b4 i go there im gonna start off with the bad news that happend b4 my weekend that, of course, carried threw out the whole weekend. So apparently i was fooled thinking my sister was the only one who reads my blogs, WRONG! My so called cousin (who i dont like to refer her as family) reads them as well. She basically copied my last blog and used it in hers (meaning the font and shit). So when i'm reading her's she finally (after 7 months) comes out and says what "her" side of the story is to this whole ordeal. Her side is simply saying that, "i've had feelings for him, i just didn't know how to tell him. So when i found out they were going out, i was shocked and acted like it was okay." Basically what really happend is that after a while when she introduced him to me he would tell me how he felt for her and i told him to ask her out...apparently she didn't kno what to do and didn't answer him. Her reason that she told me as to why she didn't kno what to say is "i like him i just can't see us going out". I told him this, he's pissed cause he didn't understand why she couldnt tell him this. (as you can see i'm in the middle of all of this) Were talking, and a year ago at this time he asked me out and i said let me thing about it. There were sooo many things that were going threw my mind i didn't kno what to do. Afraid of getting hurt, USED etc...I say yes and she acts happy. At that moment when he asked me i had no where NEAR the feelings that he "claimed" he had for me. So if she woulda told me at that moment i woulda called it off completely! This story of hers is basically frustrating but easily solved....OPEN YOUR MOUTH! If she woulda told me from the get go, NONE of this would've happend. It's frustrating because she's saying that she was hurt during our fake relationship....that now i feel a bit bad but yet i kno i did nothing wrong. How could i do something wrong and be hurting her intentionaly when i couldn't of known? And till today i realize somethin that she SHOULD...does she not know that for him this was all a game??? He got dissed by her, he wanted to piss her off by going out with her cousin (me), breaking up with her cousin, then breaking the family by doing shit that he KNOWS is bad BUT makes it justifyable to her (basically brain washing her). Honostly if a guy needed to do all that i would NOT be impressed if ne thing i would be hurt as well because he had to put me threw pain just to get back my attention. But ofcourse she dosnt see it as long as she has him, and ONLY him, it's all good in her life. Now she does nothing but complain about loosing all her friends...Honey if you make your boyfriend your TOP priority and say that he IS your life....why are you complaining about friends? You got what you want right? I mean during this whole situation some1 PLEZ tell me if i'm wrong or have gone wrong about anything...just tell me! I've done nothing but take people's advice as far as being reasonable and hearing her out and giving her a second chance....not beating her ass, etc...So this whole getting shit back isn't going so good. She tells us we can't go to her house and stop calling her but if she wouldn't act like it's not ours...we wouldn't have to be soo persistant. I dont think she understands that we want this done so that we're DONE, finished with her. With all this, i am probably the only teenager that wants school to start. I will be TOO busy to worry about her, him, immature people...basically just people that stress me out. Funny that my mother keeps saying that one day that light bulb will come on, but honostly i HIGHLY doubt it. I think i've lost alll hope...and my father, well lets just say he got the info. when it initialy happen, but since then....he knows nothing. And im sure he'll be more upset and dissapointed than he was 7 months ago.

SO! on the brighter sides of things! Saturday was VERY interesting. I had my senior pix taken and i had a rather good time doing that. I dont enjoy takein pictures of that nature so i was a bit on the crabby side because of that...BUT i had the most HILARIOUS photographer ever! So he kept me calm. So every1 be on the look out for those, i'm hopin they turn out very nice. I mean shit! My moma gonna be payin like 300 dollars for em so they better! After that i came home and took a nap, knowing that i had to go shopping with natasha. So around 5 ish we went to the Mills and wen't shopping. Actually thats tasha who went shopping cause she got the money and JOB! O since i brought that up...I BETTA GET A DAMN JOB! I applied to 6 places since i've turned 18, so somethin need to happen. So anyways...while we were there, there were sooo many priceless moments! I mean from tasha stumbling over her OWN feet to me slipping from some water on the floor. OMG! and there's this HELLA cute guy that works at journeys...tasha like ruined my chances with him cause she was soo mean to him so he probably thinks im mean 2. So after the mall we went to Gus's house and i met his cousins who are staying for a while from the DR. Margarita, she's soo funni...especially when i'm understanding what she is saying,lol. Then i met his cousin Lili for the first time, and she met me...funni cause she didn't kno who i was at first till gus said something. And basically just chilled and had fun! So my weekend or shall i say just Saturday turned out better than i had thought....cause i mean Sunday i did nothing but the usual, clean and cook. I swear to bob! I thank my parents for teaching me all sorts of things pertaining to being on my own cause i'm SOOO ready for college. I really got my heart set on Dominican...i mean there's only like 3 things i dont like. Having to live on campus for 2 years, the tuition and the freshmen dorms are SOOO small! 2 of those i could get used 2, but the tuition is high...but it REALLY is a good school. The location is great, the ratio to professors to students is Fantastic!, the diversity of ethnicitys is great 2. What really caught my eye is that since im going to major in fashion i could internship with PRADA!! I mean if i went to school here in STL at Lindenwood i'd be like interning for wal-mart. Now dont get me wrong i love the store but thats not where i want to go with my career. Then the other thing that had me sold was that i could study abroad to ITALY!! I mean i'd have to study the language for 2 years...BUT ITALY! (besides i've always wanted to learn Italian). Honostly i just realized that i just want to go to school in the Chicago area because there is soo much more opportunities there than in STL. Well 2morrow i have to babysitt....so i can get some CASH! So till some more interesting topics......

SAMMY D!

*Sigh*

So i'm just pretty much fed up. This girl (ex cousin) just keeps agravating me continuously non stop. I mean she has the nerve to call me and Gus(lil bro) immature when all we do is go to her house and get the stuff that she has of ours...he leaves a message on her celly askin when is a good time for us to pick it up. Now he might of been a little immature when he called her a name...BUT she's actin like its HER stuff and she ain't given it back. I mean is it so hard? I want my games, movies and such i have little cousins who ask me where all my games have gone and i gotta say i dont have them as of now. Now since she went to that level calling us immature ofcourse gus has to retaliate and leaves her a more inappropiate message. If it were me i wouldn't but this is him we're talking about. And she makes this comment thinking that i think her cousins like me...NEVER have i said that while this has gone down. So she's basically just comin up with random shit. So to get this over with im going to get my shit wheather she likes it or not. I mean more and likely i WILL prolly say some shit to get it off my chest cause that is what i need. For her to go off calling us immature she can't even be MATURE and communicate with me and say i give up...no she blocks me on everything, no more calls and just leaves it at that. O YA! thats REAL mature! So when this transaction takes place she better be ready cause i have A LOT to say...most of it will be real, some not so nice but i've just been REALLY hurt and telling other people dosn't help....it NEEDS to be her. So most likely tonight I will be the one leaving a message, i mean if I have to stoop down to her level and do it threw the internet i will....cause damn, i miss my sims game fa real! I think this is the main reason why i want school to start SOOOO bad...cause i'm going to be SOO busy this year that i wont have time to deal with this. And as sooon as it starts the sooner i graduate and the sooner i get out of here and i'm in Chicago.

Okay so for now i'm done...who knows if i need to let out some more frustration later....so be on the look out,lol

THE BIG 1-8!!!

Yes...i am finally 18 yrs old!! It's kind of all overwhelming that i'm really an ADULT now and i'm so much closer to being on my own. To me i don't really have a problem with growing up as much as other teenagers my age. Yes we all want to stay young and not have the responsibilities but it has to happen regardless if you want to stay young. In my opinion it's best to start early so that way i'm not totaly clueless as i get older. I have way to many goals to sit here and be a kid my whole life, i just can't let it happen. So as you might now i went to Chi-town as a 18th gift...but a day was spent at Dominican University to kno more about it. And i REALLY want to go to that school...there is soo many opportunities there in chicago for me to be a fashion designer and that school is also strong in other areas as well. The next day was basically bein spent bitching and sweating and walking. We took their subway downtown cause i wanted to go to their Millinium Park and just me and my moma did NOT get along that day. We got lost sooo many times it was just frustration takeing over us. The next day i was official 18 years old and we had plans to go to their Aquarium and this Pier of thiers. Again we got lost and lost like a hour...when all we had to do is walk 2 block instead of like 10 to get to this free trolly that drops you right in front of the aquarium. So since our time was spent on being lost....we didn't have time to go to the pier cause the trolly stopped at 5:30 and it was no way we was doing all that walking from the subway. BUT while i was down there i saw me some pretty fine ass guys and a number of bums. I've NEVER seen bums like that. But i guess you could i say i had a good time. I'm thinkin of going back up there during the school year to stay in their dorms and observe their classes. But just by myself cause the parents was just too much that weekend.

So when i get back i hear this rumor that my so called cuzzin is pregnant. I really find it hard to believe. But then i kno she is dumb and prolly has un protected sex. I mean isn't that sooo fucked up i mean my own cuzzin could be pregnant by my ex who i lost my v-card 2. Thats that jerry springer shit fa real. I mean if she is....im not gonna say it dosn't bother me cause it does. But not by the fact that she too young and shit....just the fact that it's by the same guy. OMG i had the most freakiest dream last night bout that ex. Since he's like this drug dealing gangster....in the dream he was with his brother and they was actin all cool with me and i play along not to be a bitch and then i say why yall bein like this danni you act like ain't nothin happen, what you want? And he asks me to do somethin with drug dealing and i'm like NO! and they turn around and they pull out these guns on me. That dream was soooo scary. But ne ways....me and my bro stop by her house to get our shit and she ends up not being there, so he left a message. I find out by reading HER blog....that she thinks were immature. R U SERIOUS?!?! I mean were not like her who has to do everything by interenet....we went to her house and then called her, like normal mature people. Grow up and stop hiding behind the internet. I mean she went straight back to her old ways...she sayin that she got a tru side of the story. I'm sorry she's not the victim and i pretty much almost everything saved that happend since she has to do everything on the internet...i'm not stupid i'm gonna document it and save it for future refrence. She's back to thinkin that she has done NOTHING wrong...like she made it worse by giving up on her 2nd chance and not coming to me about it.

Honostly i'll be happy when i leave this city...and not to seem like i NEED a man in my life, i just want one now. A true one, to 4 get about the last. You kno how when it seems like u lost your "love" of your life you feel like you cant look back to ne thing else but that relationship. And i'm tired of looking back to that knowing it was fake. It's hard looking back at the holding hands and shit knowing it was nothing but a game and fakeness. It hurts really bad when during that relationship ur thinking its sooo true and enjoying it....you look back at it thinking it was good times but u have that voice to remind you that it wasnt real. I'm sure i'll find someone WAYY better than him and maybe the one....but 7 months of these thoughts going threw my head it makes it harder and i try to be positive but sometims i get soo depresed. Idk....i guess i just have to deal.....

So till next time i have to get some things out or some more news....

~Sammy D